This is a work of fiction. Although this may seem closer to reality than fiction.
Now that it’s a fait accomplithe secret story of Rishi Sunak’s arrival at 10 Downing Street can be safely told.
Ironically, the finest foreign policy triumph of Indian art cannot be officially recognized. We will come back to this a little later.
But let’s start at the beginning. The decision to plot the post of Prime Minister Sunak was taken in India during a secret conclave at the recent gathering of RSS leaders in Allahabad. Of course, it was a unilateral decision, without any direct or indirect involvement from the Sunak camp.
Renaissance Hindu men were determined to leverage Modi’s office to help extend our civilizational footprints from Nagpur to London. A Hindu Prime Minister of England! There could be no more glorious return to Hindu civilization than to have a man who says with garv that he is a Hindu standing in front of that famous box in the House of Commons.
The covert operation was appropriately codenamed “London Lotus”. Experienced parivar hands from Karnataka, Goa and the northeast were sent to Britain; these veterans in the art of retaining lawmakers have been asked to identify vulnerable Tory MPs who might be tapped on the shoulder.
The Sangh’s first task was to ensure that the lords of New Delhi were on board. The two reigning Chankayas were strongly advised to ensure that all of our resources and assets across the world were available to the agents chosen to execute Op ‘London Lotus’.
Both Chankayas were, as usual, ready with their inspired and clever moves. The Sitharaman coterie was asked to second the services of a couple of financial consultants to the Liz Truss establishment. The Hindu lobby, with its enormous reach, was enlisted and the snake charmers of the Treasury were insinuated into the Downing Street advisory circus. The collapse of the British economy under the watch of Liz Truss was therefore run in advance.
This lightning subversion of the British economy proved the proverbial “ek dhakka aur do.”
However, even before the Truss establishment got on board with the hastily assembled Indian policy module, the Sunak camp was aided and guided by our very own Hon’ble Supreme Leader. Indeed, very few people know that at any one time at least half a dozen leaders around the world seek our leader’s advice on how to acquire and consolidate national power.
After losing to Truss last August, the Sunak camp had sent antennas to our Chanakyas. The advice to Karnataka’s son-in-law was to not lose heart, stay focused, stay calm and dignified – and wait for Liz Truss to write her own political obituary. The inglorious denouement came sooner than anyone expected.
Along with this coaching and guidance from our two Chankayas, the First Hindu International was simultaneously activated. It stoked Hindu feelings after the violence in Leicester. Conservative MPs with large Hindu populations in their constituencies have been the subject of particular lobbying.
The final blow to Sunak’s electricity supply was dealt by our very resourceful national security officers who effectively spurned Boris Johnson to make a nuisance of himself. The former Prime Minister was warned that if he entered the fray, some compromising documents could be released to our nationalist media which, within hours, would destroy his reputation. The Johnson bubble burst quickly. A very satisfying moment for our agents and their bosses at the top of Raisina Hill.
Unfortunately, those responsible for Operation London Lotus know, as true professionals, that often in this murky world many successes go unrecognized. In this case, there is also a disadvantage at home: a post of Prime Minister Sunak weakens the vehemence of the majority feeling at home and has triggered an unnecessary crisis. debate over the political treatment of India’s religious minorities.
Nonetheless, those who live in Modi’s bunker know the enormity of what India achieved in London. They all have the right to sing: Vishwaguru ki jai.
Atmanirbhar is the pseudonym of an aspiring satirist, who irregularly contributes a column, Excerpt from Vishwavguru archivesand believes that ridicule and humor are at the heart of freedom of speech and expression.